Cassie Shepherd

December 10, 2010

We're Not In Utah County Anymore

Last week Mitch and I were getting anxious to find a couch before we had to return our U-Haul. We had been searching Craig's List by the hour in hopes that "a good deal" would pop up. Late Friday night we traced ads back until the middle of November and found one that we thought might be the perfect deal. BUT since it was posted so long a go we figured it probably wouldn't be available. $100 for a tan leather couch and love seat.
Who can beat that?

Well, we were in luck (or so we thought) - it was still available! We called the guy, lets call him...Charlie, and he said, "It is in just great of condition. It isn't perfect, but it'll do the job. Especially if you're just starting out!" We went over the usual questions: Have you smoked? Can we see pictures? Is it real leather? Everything checked out great. No pictures were available because he claimed it was in his storage unit. Sure, that makes sense.

Charlie also explained it was only a few years old and they had to put it in storage because his daughter moved out. He said if he had had room it would've gone straight into his home, but he already had some good furniture. Another couple had come by to look at it, but apparently, according to Charlie, they thought white was beige. So, when they saw it, they didn't want it anymore.... (That should've been our first clue).

Right. So we headed out toward Jesup, a small southern town right outside of Savannah about an hour and a half. Mitch was all excited planning how we were going to get it up the stairs.

We pulled into Charlie's house around 9:00 PM. Small. Ordinary. Nothing spectacular. A broken down truck in front. Whatever. He asked us to follow him to his "storage unit" down the street. We followed him to this dark dead end road where he pulled over by this run down little house. I sort of laughed. I joked with Mitch, "Huh. This doesn't look much like a storage unit. Keep your panic button close!"

Charlie was such a nice man. He was tall, over weight, and missing teeth. A truck driver with a very thick southern accent. But, like I said, nice as nice can be.

We got out and followed him around back of the house. It smelled like animals and it wasn't pleasant. As we rounded the corner I saw the love seat. There it was on the grass. I thought, "okay, he pulled it out for us."

Then I noticed the "storage unit." Maybe a 200 square foot wooden shed with a roof that was falling down and no sign of solid doors. The couch was inside.

As we neared the love seat I realized that, "no. He had not pulled it out for us. It definitely was stored outside." It was awful. It would've been nice except for the urine stains from the 4 dogs in the back yard, the dry bird crap, dirt, leaves, and worst of all - a very large spider web with the spider hanging in the middle on the back of the love seat!

Good old Charlie sits down on the love seat (right on the urine stain) and enthusiastically says with his thick southern charm, "Now see! Isn't this great?! It even reclines!! It ain't perfect, but it'll be great for a couple just like you starting out. Just wash it up and you'll have some real nice furniture!" He meant every word sincerely.

Oh boy. For about a half of second I thought, "Well, maybe we could make it work." Then my senses kicked in. We aren't this desperate. We can sit on the floor. I like watching TV on the floor. I knew I would have nightmares about spiders crawling out of the cushions. I would never be able to sit on it.

Mitch finally caught my eye while Charlie was looking around the shed and I just shook my head like, "No way! We have GOT to get out of here!" We briefly looked around the shed some more as Mitch explained that the couch was a lot heavier than we thought so we might not be able to get it up our stairs. I piped in and said, "Oh and Mitch, ooooh, I just don't think it will fit in our little apartment. It is a lot bigger than I thought too." We tried to be so nice and tactful.

We noticed he had some other small pieces of furniture, but not quite what we were looking for (that is putting it nicely). The dryer (also outside) was full of leaves, dirt and who knows what else. We said we were looking for a matching washer and dryer.

We needed a microwave and I had been insisting on it being white. Low and behold Charlie had a white one. It actually didn't look too bad. It was in the under cover part of the shed. Plus, you can clean up microwaves a little easier than a couch I presumed. Mitch asked what I thought and I said I didn't mind. It was only $10 so I figured we could just throw it away if it didn't really turn out all that great.

Mitch checked out the microwave as Charlie explained his life story to us. He has seven wonderful kids and seventeen grandkids. He would've had eighteen, but one died shortly after birth. He had a good heart and a good soul.

Mitch didn't say much about the microwave and as we were talking with Charlie about his kids we naturally just started walking toward the car. We thanked him for his time and almost sprinted to the Jeep. When we got inside, shut the doors, we sat in silence for about two seconds then both just burst out laughing. Mitch said, "Could it have gone ANY worse!?"

I asked, "Oh and what was wrong with the microwave, why didn't we get that?" Mitch responded, "Well, I figured you wouldn't have liked all the dead cockroaches in the back of it..." Eeek!

On the way home we realized this was not like shopping on KSL back home. Mitch was notorious for finding good deals on KSL. He commented, "I don't think this is going to be like home. We can't just run over to Pleasant Grove and find us a new couch off KSL anymore. Should we stop at Sam's Club on the way home? I saw they had some nice couches for sale." :)

I've seen some of...what most people would refer to as "redneck." Mostly the southern end of Utah county. But compared to Charlie, well, now I can truly tell you what redneck is my friends.

Needless to say, Mitch and I are still on the couch hunt. We're now shopping at places like Ashley Furniture and Sam's. We've got a good idea of the one we'd like from Sam's. It is about 10x the price of the one in Jesup, but I would say it is 10x worth it! We're waiting for some of my job leads to go through before we jump the gun, but fortunately, I can confidently say we're on a much better track for furnishing our apartment.


  1. I do so love your adventures. You called today?


  2. Yeah, I'm sure you do. I know you're jealous. You wish you could've met Charlie and his couch too...

    And, yes, I needed you to look up something on the computer. We figured it out though. :)


    I would have loved to see that furniture ha. Hope all is going well with you both.

    Call us sometime


  4. Just found your blog. This is one of the funniest things I've read in awhile! Yeah, Craiglist here is a bit different. Welcome to the South :)

  5. Yeah, some of the locals told us here to never trust anything from Jesup. I guess now we know. Ha ha.